To The Girls Who Feel Like Their Depression Is Winning

By Emily Tate,

Everyone’s going to be telling you it will get better and I know right now all it does is frustrate you, outrage you at how they can assume they know what it’s like. But, baby girl, believe me it will improve if you just stick it out.

Remember that on those godforsaken nights where you’re lying curled up on your bedroom floor tearing your hair out with tears streaming down you face. When all you want to do is scream and scream until the pain ends. Remember there are people who love you, who will miss you if you left without a trace.You’ve fought so so so hard that to give up now would mean it was all for nothing.

Don’t be afraid to seek help. You’ve been there all time for everyone around you, regardless of how much pain you yourself may be in, it’s your turn now. Your turn to seek help and run crying to them.

It doesn’t make you weak.

Quite the opposite, in fact, it makes you strong enough to admit that you aren’t invincible, that you too need help at times. That you aren’t perfect, even if you are pretty close honey.

It’s the only way any of this is going to end.

Sometimes our greatest moments of courage are quiet moments of admission. Admission that we are in need of help, admission that life can get to be too much and admission that we are strong enough to seek help. Those around you will be more than happy to lift you up, to pick up the pieces but at the end of the day you need to be strong enough to ask them to.

I know currently you hate yourself more than words can tell you right now, but God honey you are incredible. You can’t see it now but you’re intelligent and capable and talented and strong and independent and beautiful, oh so beautiful.Even today it’s not totally clear to me but know that someday it will be. Let your loved ones show you but know that at the end of the day you’re the only one who can pull yourself through this. Those stories about boys with broken smiles who single handedly drag damsels out of their distress are just that, stories.

You need to be your own Prince Charming, you own knight in shining armour, your own superman.

But God, baby girl, you are so much stronger, capable of so much more than any of them ever could be.

Put down the pills, darling, life is too short as it is, why on earth would you want it to be any shorter? You’re going places, sweetie, this is just a bump in the road, another obstacle before you get there. You’ll be so much stronger for it someday but for now just stick it out, seek help and know that it does get better.

If Your Anxiety Is Getting The Best Of You, Start Practicing These 10 Simple Lifestyle Changes

By Jillian Leedy

1. Disconnect from social media.

Put down the phone. Step away from the computer.

The Internet can be a beautiful place with a wealth of knowledge at your fingertips. But, social media can be a bombarding source of constant negativity. Facebook rants. Endless gossip. Twitter takedowns. Constant criticism.

People get brave when they get behind their computer screens and often say things that they would not normally say in public or to someone’s face. Exposure to this negativity everyday, multiple times a day, can really affect your mental health.

Use the Internet to read about the news of the day and what’s going on in the world. Learn about new scientific and archeological discoveries. Stream space launches and missions. Browse book and movie reviews. Check out documentaries or Netflix shows. Listen to new songs. Watch dog and cat videos. Explore the interwebs to your heart’s content. But, limit your social media time to once or twice a day for a short time. It will make a world of difference in improving your mood.

2. Meditate.

Detach from the day’s chaos. Quiet your mind. Relax your body. Breathe. Focus only on what you can smell, hear, and feel.

Just fifteen minutes a day of closing your eyes and shutting out the world can calm your brain, increase mindfulness, and reduce stress and depression.

3. Volunteer.

Doing good things for others actually benefits you. Helping others teaches you compassion and gives you a sense of purpose. The social connections you make with others and the warm feelings you gain from doing charity work can even benefit your health and well-being. By enriching and bettering your community, you improve your sense of altruism and feed your soul.

Pick a cause you are passionate about and get to work.

4. Get in touch with nature.

Find a local park or forest and go for a walk. Find your nearest mountain and take a hike. Find a stream or river, take your shoes off, and dip your feet in.

Nature grounds you and gives you a connected feeling to the Earth around you.

Breathe in the fresh air. Glance up at the beautiful blue sky. Watch the trees and clouds move in the wind.

Observe a stunning sunrise or sunset. Look up at the stars and moon and planets.

Nothing can put things in perspective better than looking out at the Earth from a mountaintop or staring up at the sky. It reminds you just how small and insignificant our lives and problems are compared to the vast universe.

Also, the endorphins that you get from the exercise are a surefire way to boost your mood.

5. Go into every experience for the day with a positive attitude.

Even if you’re having a bad day or you don’t want to do something, try to go into an event or meeting or presentation with an open mind and a positive attitude. If you feel good going in, you’ll get more coming out.

By telling yourself that it will go well, you are changing your perspective and reframing your mindset. It’s kind of like the principle “fake it until you make it.” Experiences that once were a hassle or an obligation will eventually bring you excitement and joy.

6. Set basic goals for yourself each day.

Make your bed. Follow a daily chore calendar. Have a laundry schedule. Plan and fix yourself homemade meals and baked goods. Tend to a plant. Allot yourself so much time per day for journaling or creative endeavors.

By establishing goals each day that are simple and realistic, you can achieve them easily. This will make you feel more productive and empowered, giving you the confidence to attack the day and accomplish greater goals.

7. Recognize and appreciate the beauty in simple everyday things.

We’ve all heard the phrase “stop and smell the roses.” And there’s a lot of truth in it.

Notice the person helping the elderly cross the street. Notice the people who hold doors open for others. Notice the smile and laughter of children. Notice the helpers and the Good Samaritans.

Savor a delicious meal. Enjoy a good cup of tea. Take a bath. Watch your favorite film.

Do things that make you happy and be observant enough to recognize the good happening all around you.

8. Get sleep.

Getting seven to eight hours each night is no joke. Lack of sleep slows your reaction time, impairs your decision-making skills, and hinders your awareness. No shut-eye can throw off your hormones and blood levels leading to anxiety and grumpiness.

Not only this, but not getting your rest can cause countless health problems over time from heart disease to obesity to diabetes.

9. Be grateful.

Take time to pause at the end of each day and write down one thing you are grateful for from that day.

Relishing in good experiences and happy memories cultivates emotional maturity and positivity.

10. Don’t worry about things that have yet to happen or things that you can’t control.

Worrying about the future causes unnecessary stress in the moment. Just focus on one day at a time and realize that you are capable of handling much more than you think.

Try this exercise in your mind. Think about the things that worry or scare you. Consider the worst possible scenario. Now find a solution for that scenario. By playing out your worst thoughts in your mind, you are able to conquer those fears, ease your mind, and re-focus on living life in the present.

People Don’t Realize You’re Struggling With Depression, Because You Do These 16 Things To Conceal The Pain

By Holly Riordan

1. You use humor to cover up your pain. You make self-deprecating jokes about how you don’t have any friends and about how you want to die. But no one realizes that you’re serious, because you always say it with a smirk on your face.

2. You make excuses when people ask about you. If someone tells you that you look like crap, you won’t admit that you’ve been under severe stress. You’ll say that you’ve just been tired. Or that your allergies have been bothering you.

3. You tell yourself you’re overreacting. You don’t want to complain to your friends about your life, because you’re worried you sound like a brat. Like a baby. Like an entitled little bitch.

4. You leave such little signs. You leave a miniature trail of your depression. You repost articles about heartbreak and breakups and death. You listen to music about suicide and self-harm. But no one reads too much into it.

5. You’re in a healthy relationship. If you’re in a serious relationship, everyone will assume that you’re doing well. That a happy relationship equals two happy humans without a care in the world.

6. You keep your emotions to yourself. You write out lengthy text messages for friends and exes, but delete them before sending. Then you write melancholy lyrics and slam poetry, but you never post them online. You keep your feelings to yourself, even though they’re begging to be released into the world.

7. You wear a false smile. You don’t want to be an outcast. You don’t want to draw attention to yourself. You just want to fit in. That’s why you always pretend you’re happy. So that no one pays extra attention to you.

8. You aren’t a stereotype. You don’t walk around in all black clothing and thick eyeliner. You wear bright colors and keep your hair brushed and your body fit. The way you look on the outside doesn’t match how you feel on the inside.

9. You look happy online. You upload gorgeous selfies and post statuses about all the parties you’ve been attending. You seem happy and successful online, so everyone assumes that means you’re happy IRL, as well.

10. You refuse to see a therapist. You know you need one. You know it would help. But you don’t have the money or the time or the willpower to actually visit one. So you suffer alone.

11. You casually talk about tragedies. When you actually open up about your issues, you act like they’re no big deal. Like they don’t make a difference to you. Like you haven’t been crying over them every night for a week.

12. You’ve learned how to lie well. If someone asks why you didn’t answer their texts or attend class, you don’t let them know it was because you spent the entire day in bed. You tell them you were out having the time of your life.

13. You keep secrets. When you engage in self-destructive behaviors, you do it on your own time. No one realizes that you’ve been getting drunk every night after work or have been having unprotected sex with strangers, because you keep it to yourself.

14. You cry alone. When you’re upset in public, you’ll find a private bathroom to bawl your eyes out in. And before you leave, you’ll splash your face with water and adjust your make-up. Your friends won’t even know the difference when they see you again.

15. You put other people first. Even if you have a close friend you can open up to, you won’t let her know about your problems until she’s told you all about herproblems. And by the time she’s finished ranting, you don’t feel like saying anything anymore.

16. You’re fully functional. You still work. You still eat. You still sleep. You still see your friends. You do everything a twenty-something should be doing, so no one realizes anything is out of the ordinary.

What It’s Like To Be In Love When You Have Anxiety

By Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

NickBulanovv

When you have anxiety, you can’t mask it. You can’t wish it away, or pray it away. It becomes this part of you that you can’t seem to control. And it can get out of control. Kind of like love.

When you fall in love when you have anxiety, someone telling you that they love you doesn’t feel like it’s enough. For most people, to hear someone say those three words is reassuring. It’s supposed to be comforting and soothing. But anxiety has a way of making anything scary. And anxiety has a way of making love seem impossible.

Falling in love can be scary for anyone, especially falling in love for the first time. But when you have anxiety, the fears can grow. The uneasiness can take over. And your worries can sometimes overpower the feeling of love.

It doesn’t matter how good your partner is to you. It doesn’t matter how much they assure you they will never leave you. It doesn’t matter how many times they hold you through the night while your brain is on overdrive. It doesn’t matter how much they tell you that they love you.

When you have anxiety, you can’t just shut off. You can’t just turn off your mind to focus on the good. You can’t just hide from your worries.

So you worry. You worry about your future. About your future with your partner. You worry if your anxiety is driving them away. You worry if it’s too much for them to handle. You worry about tomorrow, and the next day and the next day.

No matter how good of a place you are in and no matter how happy you are, anxiety can creep up on you at any time. It can show up in the middle of night or at 5 am the next morning. It can pop up during a perfect dinner date, or midway through a goodnight kiss. It seems like at times, that it is always there. Mocking you. Mocking your happiness.

It’s wonderful to fall in love. It’s beautiful and incredibly magical. But when you have anxiety, it takes some work getting adjusted. It takes work to even be happy when it keeps following your every move.

When you are in love with anxiety, you find yourself in a constant worry. You worry about if they are the one for you. If it’s destiny or fate. You worry if they will leave you. You worry because it’s something you have always done. But if it’s truly love and if this person is right for you, they aren’t going anywhere. And you need to remind yourself of that. 

Loving someone when you have anxiety is hard. It’s a journey full of bumps and dark corners. But, if the love is true and real, anxiety isn’t going to chase that love away. Anxiety isn’t going to overpower the love that was so carefully crafted for you and your partner.

Don’t let anxiety win the race. Let love in and let love win this time. Anxiety is a terrible beast, but it’s not ever going to be a match for the power and greatness of true love.

This Is How We Fail Those Who Are Actually Depressed

By Abhik Chatterjee

In life, we often tend to insensitively label situations and term incidents loosely without having ever encountered them ourselves in real life. And it pains me that we laugh and trivialize issues that we consider insignificant.

After the recent passing of Chester Bennington, there were several people scoffing, calling him a coward, terming him gutless, sneering at how he had taken the easy way out. Well, I do know of two things in my lifetime:

a) We use the word “Depression” too loosely.

b) Depression is not exactly a cakewalk to deal with. I will know because I have suffered from it and have been counseled about it.

Every time we have a fight with someone, we are suddenly depressed. When we do not get a promotion, we are depressed. When our favorite team loses, we are depressed. We have trivialized this word beyond understanding, using it for every little bump that we face in our lives. And when we cross those obstacles, we claim to have overcome “depression”. What a pile of horse-shit!

I am appalled at the lack of insensitivity there is towards mental health. I am disgusted at the fact that people suffering from it are looked down upon and called “mad”. Here are some of the things that I have heard in my life-time:

a) “Come on deal with it. Be strong.”

b) “Don’t worry, you will get over it.”

c) “Why are you acting like a girl? Stop crying”

Really? Is that what we think this is? Acting like a girl? Not brave enough? Not dealing with it?

It is mayhem and chaos in the minds of those who deal with it and I wish and pray that no one has to. It is an endless vacuum that one goes into, thinking about repercussions and reliving a trauma over and over again in a loop until you suffocate.

So the next time, you call someone a “coward” and ask him/her to “go out with friends to get over it”, try and educate yourself on sensitivity. And encourage the patient to open up instead of passing useless advise.

Yes, it is an illness. Accept it.

Treat those who suffer from it in the same manner that you would treat anyone suffering from physical illness.

And yes, just like any other serious sickness, it can be fatal.

Be kind. Please, be kind.